Agent Blogs and the End of My Sanity

I wouldn't say I'm a neurotic person. I don't flip lights on and off 28 times before leaving a room. I don't walk into a coffee shop and wonder which people in there are martians who came to the planet to mate with the women and start a new race.

I'm pretty easy going. I've got your standard insecurities and the standard coping mechanisms--mostly I eat a lot of carbs and sugar and I cry at random commercials. Then I feel better.

One of my most recent addictions has turned out to be the plethora of agent blogs. Ooooh, how I loves me some agent blogs. I just love the way they jump on to my screen with authority. How I unknowingly snap to attention and clean off my desk a little, just in case the agent blog is paying attention--I wouldn't want them to think I was a messy, disorganized writer! I search through them for insights into the damned dreaded query letter or those ridiculous synopses we're tasked with writing. (How I hate you, synopsis!)

And there is some EXCELLENT advice out there. Everything from the opening paragraph to just what exactly they are looking for when you sum up your book in 3-5 pages. (They're not looking for the backstory on your villain's bratty first cousin who stole his toys when he was a child. Just saying.)

But among the gems, I tend to stumble across a few snarky entries calling to light our less stellar attempts, as authors, to gain their attention. I mean, not just calling them to light, but turning the big, nerdy spotlight on the flubs and foibles some of us boneheards really manage. It's painful, really, the things we try to get away with in the pursuit of publication.

But, whereas before, the flub would have been the source of a little inter-agency humor, it now feels like our biggest FAILS are broadcast just like a pair of underpants on the flagpole. I know they sanitize them and take out names and real titles, but it doesn't stop the rest of us would-be authors from stopping a moment to do a frantic mental inventory check...was Agent So-and-So on my last list? Yes? Crap. Did I include a recipe for pumpkin pie in my query letter for a paranormal/time travel romance that had nothing to do with pumpkins or pie? No? Oh, phew.

I know, I know, it's a drastic example. I'm just sayin'. It's like all of a sudden we get to hear what the popular group (the smart, pretty girls we all wanted to be, or at least be friends with. Ok, maybe not friends, but at least get eye contact in the hallway once in a while) talked about at the lunch table...and unfortunately, it was us all of these years.

And yes, those are about 40 bazillion agent blogs listed there on the left. I told you...I absolutely LOVE THEM. I'm just an insecure mess now because of them. (I kid. I kid.)